I have seen the glory that cannot be unseen – Transfiguration by Hillsong

The Death Project

Wake up and Live. For the last three years, this was the only thing that I wanted to do. In the process of waking up and living, rather than existing I tried, I failed, I succeeded, I forgot, I lost my way, I cried, I despaired, I laughed, I let go… and somewhere along the way, I saw who I wanted to be.

The beautiful thing about life is that nothing is permanent, except change. And so, as long as I’m alive I can be better. There is hope. I guess that’s why although I have a million things that I want to do, experience and change, I waste so much of my time.

But what if I only have a year to live? What if there is a timer that counts down every hour, minute and second of my life? And instead of 60 years worth of time, I only have one?

The aim of this experiment is simple: to end every day of my life ready to die.


The Death Project is the first step on my reinvention. The thing about me is, when I overcome something, I don’t reflect – I forget. I bury the experience deep and I relish in the comfort I have achieved once again.

“If God has a plan then I will be okay in the end. I just have to ride this through.” This is how I truly feel: okay. I am calm, comfortable, stagnant, and disgustingly complacent.

But I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to stay the same.

I hope that this project will propel me forward and help me gain momentum so that I become closer to the life I want to have.

Time


For the longest time, there have been a number of adjectives that I want to be used when describing me. These are:

  • Have hobbies
  • Godly
  • A lawyer
  • Fit and healthy
  • Beautiful
  • Social
  • A reader
  • A volunteer
  • Frugal
  • Mindful
  • Adventurous
  • Skilful
  • A traveler
  • A collector
  • A businesswoman
  • A photographer

And just recently, I realised that I want another word:

  • Living

And when I have my funeral at the end of this project, I want the people I love to use these words when talking about me and the life I’ve lead.

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