Wake up and Live. For the last three years, this was the only thing that I wanted to do. In the process of waking up and living, rather than existing I tried, I failed, I succeeded, I forgot, I lost my way, I cried, I despaired, I laughed, I let go… and somewhere along the way, I saw who I wanted to be.
The beautiful thing about life is that nothing is permanent, except change. And so, as long as I’m alive I can be better. There is hope. I guess that’s why although I have a million things that I want to do, experience and change, I waste so much of my time.
But what if I only have a year to live? What if there is a timer that counts down every hour, minute and second of my life? And instead of 60 years worth of time, I only have one?
The aim of this experiment is simple: to end every day of my life ready to die.
The Death Project is the first step on my reinvention. The thing about me is, when I overcome something, I don’t reflect – I forget. I bury the experience deep and I relish in the comfort I have achieved once again.
“If God has a plan then I will be okay in the end. I just have to ride this through.” This is how I truly feel: okay. I am calm, comfortable, stagnant, and disgustingly complacent.
But I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to stay the same.
I hope that this project will propel me forward and help me gain momentum so that I become closer to the life I want to have.
For the longest time, there have been a number of adjectives that I want to be used when describing me. These are:
- Have hobbies
- A lawyer
- Fit and healthy
- A reader
- A volunteer
- A traveler
- A collector
- A businesswoman
- A photographer
And just recently, I realised that I want another word:
And when I have my funeral at the end of this project, I want the people I love to use these words when talking about me and the life I’ve lead.